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Renewed hope and new opportunities...

Can we still say HNY two weeks into 2021 and already in another lock down?! It’s probably not been the start we were all hoping for eh. But at least this time there is a light at the end of the tunnel, a vaccine, and the hope of some kind of normality resuming this year.

It’s been a couple of months since my last post, I gave myself some time off as I navigated my first year of “cancer-versaries” because, to be honest, they were rather mentally draining.

The flashbacks to November and December were pretty brutal, it felt was like I was reliving every moment of those first few weeks of my diagnosis.

When you put yourself out there to try and help others in a similar situation to you, a wonderful support network forms. You come to realise you need those people as much as they need you, and you become friends. There is a harsh reality of making friends in the cancer community though, and that is - not all of us make it. I lost a couple of these friends in November and December and it hit me hard. One in particular.

It reminds you of your own vulnerability when you lose someone fighting the same thing you’ve spent the last year in combat with.

Some might ask “why then, why put yourself out there” and the answer is this… Hope.

The hope that your efforts will mean others never feel as alone as you did at the start of your journey. The hope that in raising awareness, you encourage people to get anything out of the normal checked as soon as possible, increasing the chance of early detection which we all know is absolutely key to saving lives when it comes to Cancer.

This New Year’s Eve, as the clock struck midnight and began to rang in the new year, I stood and watched the city of Sheffield light up. From my office at the top of our house I get a view of the entire city, and this new year the sky was absolutely full of hundreds, maybe even thousands of fireworks. It’s a sight like I’ve never seen before, and will probably never get to see again. I stood there, watching as the sky lit up, feeling slightly weepy, and I realised that all these people had one thing in common. They were all excited at the prospect of a new start… of leaving a year of hell behind in 2020.

It was a symbol of united strength, positivity, and of hope.

It’s not about waking up on the first of January and expecting the world to have magically fixed itself, it’s about starting a new year a fresh. 365 days filled with the promise of new opportunities, and (for me) without a cancer cloud hanging over my head. And that, is pretty fucking spectacular.

Until next time, check your boobs

L x

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